Few weeks ago, I went to watch a play in Monnot Theater Beirut. It is originally American called Dinner With Friends by Donald Margulies transformed later to a film. It is translated to Lebanese and directed by Carlos Chahine.
It is the story of two couples that are friends since long time. After more than 10 years of Marriage, one of them decided to get a divorce.
The subject of the play was very interesting that I wanted to take my time to digest it.
Have you ever asked yourself why some people get along together despite life challenges and other get married while they are not compatible at all?
My parents admit that they had a marriage of reason and they were not in love when they decided to get married. But I always had this beautiful image of their couple. Were they living happily ever after? Of course not… The family passed through many challenges but yet they were supportive to each other. I always admired the way they loved each other. They did sacrifices due to unfairness of life but I am not sure that a relationship like this would last long nowadays.
I am not here to judge people and I am not a relationship consultant as well. I am just thinking why do we complicate things?
Some say that Love disappears with time. Others say that it is normal not to be attracted physically anymore to your partner after a long time. While witnessing my relationships, the ones of my friends and my surroundings, I can’t say that I found the exact criteria to a happy or unhappy relationship. Never say Never and Never say Always! You might end up in those relationships.
The play gives you an indirect comparison between both couples. Both have kids. They hang out all together always. They rarely noticed that there was something wrong. (although sometimes, we just don’t want to see it). The second couple who decided to get a divorce finally felt the need to explore new things. the husband met someone who vibrates him more in all aspects and within a short time, the wife agreed that she needed this too. Their friends couldn’t accept this easily. Each one of them tried to talk with the other couple and here you see the difference between the traditional couple that accepts each other despite the differences and the life challenges and the other couple that decided that each one’s happiness comes above everything.
The first couple is satisfied. They still have the empathy for each other but forgot about how much they are attracted to each other and they are not even talking about it. The other couple was not satisfied at all and they decided to follow their dreams. They didn’t communicate during the years and suddenly, they decided to split.
Why do people get married in the first place if they are not ready or they don’t get along? Is it a tradition? Is it in order not to stay lonely? What about the society pressure especially on girls growing older? Maybe they got used to be with each other? Marriage is a big word especially when it involves kids. If people who are not compatible (and maybe don’t know it) get married, their life most probably will be worst than being lonely. The person knows deep inside the answer and can detect if he/she is doing the right thing.
I am not sure yet which one of these couples I would choose to be in this life especially if I had kids. Isn’t there a third option where there is happiness, space and a good mix of everything (love, mind & sex)? The only thing I know is that I would not compromise easily the following:
- Respect & Freedom
- Communication is one the most efficient “ways” to “avoid” any conflict in life. It won’t stop a divorce but it would definitely avoid disappointments and surprises! But this is dependent on how much each one is a good communicator. 🙂
I will write more about this once I get to know all the answers that apply to me. I would be very happy to know what you think about it as well! Happy Curling!